“Expecting Sunshine challenges the reader to accompany author Alexis Marie Chute on the most heartbreaking of journeys. Fate has dealt her the task of carrying to term and delivering a baby, Zachary, who will not survive. How cruel, terrifying and capricious life feels as we travel along with Alexis Marie as she summons the courage to get pregnant again. Told week by week as she re-enters the process of carrying new life, we suffer and worry along with her and also revel in her down to earth embrace of her path and her family who accompany her. The contours of grief are too often hidden. Alexis Marie has been generous and fearless in showing herself to us, warts and all, not just her bravery but also her hopelessness at times, her fear, and most important, her coping. This book will be a helpful and inspiring addition to the literature of grief and especially meaningful to those who have lost a child and need encouragement to try again. The world feels larger and more spacious, pain more bearable, life more precious after reading this book.”

“When mired in unthinkable and immovable pain, artistic expression presents itself as a friend and companion, enabling life and creative energy to flow again and transform random tragedy into an affirmation of life and family. Alexis Marie Chute shows us how full engagement and acceptance, rather than failed distractions, can medicine the soul.”

“In Expecting Sunshine, the Edmonton-based writer and artist Alexis Marie Chute writes about loss—the most primal loss we can experience, the loss of a child—in such luminous prose and with such clear-eyed insight that the beauty of the text brings the reader to the edge of tears. Tears of sadness for her family’s loss, yes, but more profoundly, tears of release and healing as we witness the cathartic powers of art and the scope of a young family’s love. This is a beautiful, honest, important book that makes death a starting point for the continuation of life—literally, as the book chronicles Chute’s first pregnancy after the death of her son Zachary–and grief the catalyst from which joy is born.”

“Alexis Marie Chute, tasked with living as she mourns the death of her child, writes vividly and honestly about loss and grief. Expecting Sunshine records a journey that proves to be revelatory for reader and writer alike. This is a brave, memorable book.”

“Alexis Marie’s honest, unflinching memoir reads more like a novel in its elegant use of prose and narrative structure. But there’s no mistaking its truth – that losing a child at any age can cause a shift in a parent’s universe. Alexis Marie’s struggle to move forward and heal, and still honour baby Zachary, is an inspiration.”

“This memoir is a moving journey of infant loss and the pregnancy that follows in the midst of a society that does not understand the dynamics of perinatal loss. The book explores the different ways men and women process grief, suppressing grief while wanting others to remember a baby no longer physically present, and how to find a new normal. The pregnancy that follows brings multifaceted feelings of continued grief, memories of the previous pregnancy along with anxiety and fear for the safety of the much wanted new sibling. It is a book for parents, professionals and families and friends wishing to support someone who has suffered a loss.”

“Honest, raw and vulnerable – Alexis-Marie Chute opens her heart to share her journey of love, loss, transformation and rebirth. Her message that love binds us together even beyond death, resonates deeply with me as a bereaved mother; it is also a consistent message I heard in my research with bereaved families who experience perinatal death. This is an important, engaging book for bereaved parents, especially those who are considering a subsequent pregnancy.”

“Expecting Sunshine is an exquisite book for all those who have lost a child and those who need to understand and cope with untimely grief. It is one woman’s heart-rending story of a mother’ loss which confounds ideology, faith and any of the prescribed cures for mourning. It’s pain and wisdom are as old as time, the simple truths of nature, nurture and the bonds of mother and child.   It is also an uplifting lesson in­ redemption.”

“Wow!  The story of Alexis Marie Chute and her precious pregnancies was almost impossible for me to put down.  I know that this book will be so helpful for families living through subsequent pregnancies- a chance to validate their varied emotions and know that whatever they are feeling is “normal”.  Thank you for sharing your story so that others can learn from your journeys. Thank you Zachary for helping your mother tell yours and Eden’s stories.”

“Expecting Sunshine is a brave book, walking the reader through the deep grief that accompanies the loss of a child and moving beyond immediate pain to recovery. Alexis Marie Chute speaks honestly of all the areas of life that are threatened by the death of a child: the relationship of the parents, and their faith, creativity, and belief in themselves and one another. At the same time, Expecting Sunshine acknowledges the myriad support systems that exist to help bereaved parents heal from this kind of trauma and emerge together, altered but vital. Part memorial, part celebration, this is a striking book.”

“An amazingly moving and emotional story that any woman – or any parent – can easily relate to.”

“An honest and tender memoir about the complex and difficult emotions of grief and joy a mother goes through during a pregnancy that follows a death of a child. Alexis Marie conveys the delicacy of emotions that go into motherhood after loss and shares with us her courageous journey through the pregnancy that follows. Moms pregnant again after loss will find a fellow companion in her words that are much needed to be shared.”

“When a baby dies, too many parents suffer alone in silence. While grieving the unexpected death of her son, Zachary, Alexis Marie courageously gives powerful voice to a mother’s primal heartbreak as she searches for renewal and rebirth in her own healing while carrying her next son, Eden. In her enthralling memoir, for those of us bereaved mothers who share similar memories, Alexis Marie helps us to honour our own lives.”

“In Expecting Sunshine, Alexis Marie allows you to accompany her on the tumultuous journey of pregnancy after loss. While navigating the complex emotions during this time, she is vulnerable and allows the reader to witness her most private moments. This is a beautiful story filled with love, both for the baby who has passed on as well as the one she is expecting.”

“Expecting Sunshine by Alexis Marie Chute is a guide through the darkness and heartbreak of giving birth to a stillborn child, the grief that follows, and the anxiety of trying again. She shows how to have hope for a positive outcome even as fear tries to win. Alexis Marie also shows us that creativity and art are a path to finding oneself over and over again. I highly recommend it!”